The words “I want what’s fair” come up in every divorce. But is there such a thing, as a Fair Divorce?

Fair Divorce

Here is how to get a fair divorce….

I want a fair divorce! The meaning of these words is what can drive you to a long drawn out court battle and drown you in legal fees. Here is why.

Everyone has their own definition of fairness. Yours might be to take your spouse to the court, squeeze him or her for all he/she’s got, and get your vindication. Your soon to be ex might consider a fair outcome if you pay him/her a big fat spousal support and take on all of your debts.

…..And then there is the court’s definition of fairness….which will be based on the following information:

Imagine your  life story is stored on an 8″ x 10″ piece of paper: 

Now fold that paper in half……this is how much of your story your lawyer retains

Now fold it in half again…..this is how much of your story gets captured in your lawyer’s file

Fold that paper in half the third time and ……this is how much gets communicated to the Judge

Lastly fold the same paper in half the fourth time …..and this is how much of your story Judge uses to make his/her decision that will impact the rest of your life

Catch my drift? Fairness is highly subjective and the bottom line for you is this. Your victory lies:

  • In going after Equitable, instead of Fair.
  • In arming yourself with sound financial information and building knowledge so that you can stand on your own and become financially independent.
  • In coming to the “negotiating” table with a clear understanding of what your financial needs are now, immediately after your divorce and in the long run.
  • In having enough information so that you won’t be trapped or caught off guard when your ex rejects your offer and throws out his own for consideration. With your new financial knowledge you will be able to evaluate the pros and cons with a clear head without wanting to reach across the table and choke the shit out of him/her.

You can find detailed information on property division and divorce finances in my book The Bedroom Elephant: A Guide to Successful Divorce at